When it comes to past relationships; what do we do when the one that got lost, comes back?
We all have seen the famous HBO series, "Sex in the City." The main character Carrie falls in love with her infamous Mr. Big who comes back and forth in her life. The connection she had for him was infinite and even with the other chapters in her love life; none compare to Mr. Big. As the distance grew, so did their love within time but he always came back when she was happy. At the end of their 10 years of Bad Romance; they get married.
I hate to say this but I am starting to feel like Carrie myself. I had always compared the writer, and style part with hers but not when it came to relationships.
See I had been getting to know a guy who in this comparison can be called "Big" but he somehow got lost on my birthday. The connection I felt for him was something I had never felt for anyone else. We talked on a daily basis and disregard the miles; we had something for each other. To make a long short short, he somehow got lost the day of my 23rd birthday. I always wondered " Why did he leave?" or "Did I do something wrong?"
After two months of questioning why did he leave; he finally came back into my life. This time he explained the reasons why he left but regrets it everyday. At the end of the day; it was my birthday and he left me on the one special day of the year.
I learned to forget about Big and allowed another Aiden into my life. I honestly never expected to have Big come back at all. In the show Aiden is the other man Carrie is in love with when Big comes back. However Carrie has an affair with Big while she lives with Aiden. Somehow it became a circus and Carrie ended up alone but like always; Big comes back. I am starting to feel like Carrie. I have Aiden who represents my partner at the time yet Big came back and wants me once more in his life.
The harsh part about this story is how I do not have the same connection I did with Big like I should with my Aiden. Now that Big is back, he wants to settle down yet I am already taken. My Aiden also wants to settle down and have a family down the road.
Its a bad romance episode of my life. I ca not have both yet I want part of both in my life. Big offered on last chance and wants to marry me. He is a few years older and educated but it still does not justify leaving me. On the other side my Aiden is my age, my personality, and we share the same birthday. He can be immature at times but he was there to wipe the tears Big left running down my face.
I have two great guys who want the same thing in my life. At the moment I am beyond confused and stressed out. Its a matter or time to see who will be the one in my life but for now; the one that got lost wants me back.