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Surviving the Hook up Culture

By Gardenia Zuniga-Haro

The Sad Reality.

If you are single, dating, or constantly going on dates with people you find online and notice that all they want is SEX....than you are experiencing the Hook UP Culture.

Do you know what it is? If not take notes on the red flags, obstacles, but remember we can always survive it.
So this hook up culture is when people only care about dinner, sex, and occasional encounters where they need a plus one. There is no desire for a relationship nor to love in return. All they want is sex out of you!

You do not have to hook up first, than date. It should be the other way around if  you want respect and a a relationship. 

Also do not fall for the "Love you" phrase that you will hear after the second phone call or morning text.... it really means, "I want to Fuck you."

The word love is no longer used in this culture with the same meaning it was used 15 years ago. I love you can sound better than I want to FUCK you. Harsh but true!

People are used to easy, quick, meaningless, and occasional sex that having a solid romantic relationship is miracle to them.

If you want a meaningful relationship than review the red flags I will provide. Also analyze your potential dates but ultimately remember its your body, your choice!

The Renowned Phrase.

I'm sure you heard the famous term "Netflix and Chill?"...Right? 
If you have than you know how annoying it can be but if you haven't it means, "Lets have sex!"

If you hear that phrase within the first or second aware. That is a RED FLAG my friend!

It is so vulgar but somehow its part of today's  dating culture. With this realization I can say that it is  hard to find someone who wont say "Lets hook up"  on the second date or even bring it up as the first meeting.  

I have been single for a few months now and I can say that dating is more like hooking up these days. I have been on a few dates where the lovely guys start on the right foot but after the first date,..."Netflix and Chill" comes up. Guess what......I am not a napkin for your Penis! 

A woman doesn't have to do "Netflix and Chill" on the second date. A woman can keep more mystery and obtain more respect if she says "NO", and if the guy doesn't like it; He can go fuck himself!

Also a men goes as far as a woman allows him to so if you are mad because he did not call you after having sex, than now you know why. He only wanted you for sex and nothing else!

Now this culture can go for either sex. Not all men are pigs but not all women are nuns either. I have meet women who play the same game when it comes to this culture and sometimes they play it better in their own terms.

The Dating Struggle.

Dating can either be a disaster or a nice experience  with someone you are connected with  however, when they want to hook up so soon it shows that in this day and age; relationships are hard to obtain.

 I admit I am a newbie in the dating game but just because I have my own room with a mini bar, it doesn't mean that after our dinner date....I am in the menu for dessert.

Now this is where I do not  relate with today's hook up culture....

It seems like everyone is in a RUSH to try every flavor in the menu when it comes to dating. There is no passion or mystery on dating since everyone is used to having SEX within the first 3 dates.

Most women are so easy to open their legs between the first 3 encounters and men are so used to it that if you say "NO", they will immediately act like Assholes!

Trust me, I know about 4 assholes since I've been single.

That's the problem about the hook up culture. If you don't give in, than you will get treated like shit. Its pathetic but very accurate at times from what I have experiences and seen from friends.

I am not saying everyone is like that but from what I have observed; people give their bodies up so soon to someone they don't even know their last name nor their "Car fax". You know what I mean?!

I suggest don't give in if you want something serious but if you want to hook up do you!

The Easy Access.

I believe that technology and media has a big influence on how men see women and how women present themselves. I mean take a look at all the half women on social media and men constantly  sending "DMs`" (Direct messages) on Instagram.

 Lets be real, how many of you have a dating app like Tender, Bumble, O.K. Cupid, or who knows what else is out there!
-You might nod your head or look at your app as I mentioned them to see who is available for an easy fuck right? Why? Cant you try to meet someone without fucking them so soon? Better yet, don't you want someone to appreciate you for who you are and not the performance you can give in the 15 minutes of pleasure?!

I mean I understand everyone has needs but it seems like everyone goes to those apps for one purpose; SEX!

Holding on to Hope.

Well then what happened to Romance.....seriously?
Romance is vanishing, respect is gone, and abstinence....well does that even exist anymore?!

Apparently it doesn't exist since everyone who is single is currently living in a Hook UP Culture!

Being single and surviving the hook up culture is becoming hell to some of us while others enjoy the thrill of trying every flavor on the menu.

I believe in romance, respect, and patience. I mean, there are still some hopeless romantics out there. We do exist and it will take a lucky person to take our car for a test drive when the right time comes.

I know not everyone wants to get married, have children, or be exclusive when dating but one fact is for sure; Everyone wants to be loved.

Finally, surviving the hook up culture!

I am not an expert in dating however from a hopeless romantic point of view; Do not open your legs on the first few dates! Seriously. If you want respect than give yourself respect first.

I know with the easy access, social media influences, and peer pressure we can fall into the "Netflix and Chill" trap although, we can be smart and play the dating game with our own rules.

Giving ourselves respect is the biggest turn on someone can obtain, well that is if they have the same values as you do. If not than don't worry, there is plenty of fish in the sea and you don't have to settle for someone who wants to try your flavor in the first date. 

Know your boundaries when going on a date and if sex is the hot topic during the first dinner, then you have the power to have be dessert or walk away.

"If we survived this years election than we can survive the hook up culture one date at a time."-Gardenia.


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